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A Year’s Worth of Search Terms

25 August 2011
by

I’ve been meaning to do a search term roundup for a while, as I always enjoy them on other sites. Some notable ones, presented as is and in no particular order:

 

  • liberals are dumb (variations: dumb shit liberals, liberals are dumb as shit, liberals are crooks, ammunition against liberals–what’s up, violent conservative rhetoric?)

This is the most frequent search we get. It’s probably the case that most people’s brains break when they realize that we’re criticizing liberals from the left.

  • american women are the worst 2011

American women are the worst: 2011 edition? Or American women are the worst at being the year 2011? I think these thoughts so that I can spare my eyes from rolling straight out of their sockets.

  • is racism still privilent in south africa today?yes/no and why

Hey this blog isn’t going to write obviously answerable high school essays for you!

  • hmong vietnam fuck in laos

We get a lot of hits for Hmong history with the US in Viet Nam.  I’ve decided to be optimistic about why people are looking it up, so it’s heartening to see those searches.  Except for this one.  Because I have no idea what issue it’s trying to get at.

  • patriotism begets victory

I imagine that this person was having an argument on the internet and was desperately looking for evidence to confirm their bias.  You’re not gonna find it here, lol!

  • they [the marxists] maintain that only a dictatorship—their dictatorship, of course—can create the will of the people, while our answer to this is: no dictatorship can have any other aim but that of self-perpetuation, and it can beget only slavery in the peop

Someone has mistaken google for a machine that forwards emails to their grandkids or something.

  • similarity between evolutionary psychology and stargazing

Oh, hell no! Also, what?

  • jesus sleeps in a boat during storm

It’s not this search itself that’s so weird, but why it would ever send someone here.

  • mom amateurs pornporn and oh yes harder deeper

Oh thank god. You can’t be sure you’re running a feminist blog until at least a couple of porn searches roll in.

  • crapus ganglion

This is my all-time favorite. We like to say it out loud for no reason sometimes. I, uhh, guess it could send someone here, as I wrote ‘sacral ganglia’ once. They were probably looking for Scarpa’s ganglion, though.

 

Well, that’s it until next year or whenever I do this again!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. 25 August 2011 11:33

    These are hilarious… What’s up with the evolutionary psychology and stargazing search term? Was someone trying to compare it to astronomy (though hopefully the accurate comparison would be to compare evolutionary psychology to astrology since they’re both bunk sciences), and just forgot the term?

    • 25 August 2011 12:33

      It was your post that finally got this post off its butt, so I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      I have very little idea about evopsych/stargazing, but my most generous interpretation is that the person wanted an evopsych explanation for why people created astrology. That makes some sense, but both fields are still bullshit, of course.

      There’s a fun/headache-inducing sort of mystery to looking through search term hits. Sometimes going on a google journey will solve the mystery, but usually not (or they wouldn’t have ended up here in the first place).

  2. 26 August 2011 13:07

    These are really funny and bizarre. I might start using the phrase “crapus ganglion” as my new favorite curse word.

    It’s also interesting to type random words into a google search field and see what auto-fills. Like, just start typing “why are women…” and “why are men…”

    • 26 August 2011 15:58

      Oh, I love doing that. It’s really scary how much of it is looking for medical advice, though, lol. “why do i keep throwing up bile”? Because GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

  3. TDL permalink
    8 August 2012 12:19

    I would just like to point out that the quote “patriotism begets victory” is a quote from a popular video game. Heck, searching for that is what brought me here. I highly doubt that anyone “desperately searching for evidence to confirm their bias” would use words like ‘beget’.

    • 9 August 2012 10:48

      Good to know, but it’s still weird that searching for it would lead here. I mean, the top result for it on Google, even without quotes, is this post talking about how we get hits for it. The next result for us is the main page with no bolded words or anything. Same story with WordPress’s search when I tried it. I don’t really Get search engines, I guess.

      I agree that your average person wouldn’t use ‘beget.’ I was imagining someone having heard a quote or paraphrase by some 18th century dude and searching for it so they could use it in place of an argument somewhere else on the internet. The kind of thing you get in a FW: FW: FW: from that uncle nobody really wants to talk to.

      (P.S., just between you and me, nice email address.)

      • 9 August 2012 10:56

        Oh my god, did WordPress automatically change itself to have two capital letters when I didn’t write it that way? It did. Welp.

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